Today I had to drive
surely less than a km one way
(and then back)
I was completely stressed out by it
nothing happened, of course
but it was a great example
of just how totally insecure I am in,
like, everything.
A few hours later I got a reply from the translation agency
telling me that after evaluating the orthography tests
they would like to call me in to an interview
whose time we can discuss in January.
It didn't stir much feeling in me
it's good to know that I still know
how to write properly (the only thing with which I ever won any competition, come to think of it)
but if it were an option, I'd skip the whole thing
(as T. did back in our university time with her exams, come to think of it)
I absolutely cannot picture myself succeeding
(in this or in anything else)
but then I still have about two weeks
pigs might fly
But at least I start having some notion on why I must have been left
really, I am not viable
how on earth do I expect to be suffered
let alone loved?!
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