Yesterday in the morning
I was agonising again
then had a tea, a coffee and a lively chat
with A.
in English, as part of an exam preparation for her
and in the end I felt better
The afternoon was fun, doing all the angel-stuff
with my sister-in-law and goddaughter
we got to the nativity play just a little late
came home together
sang, prayed, opened the presents
ate
played Concept, and laughed out loud
went to the midnight mass with my nieces
and then I woke up
and couldn't fall back to sleep
and there made the mistake of taking a sleeping pill.
I then slept till about 11
ate a way too sweet "breakfast"
and fell to bed once again
only to have feverish fits of sleep
all the while thinking that I shouldn't
because I won't be able to sleep tonight.
I got up finally around 3
in a state of stupor
out of touch with everything.
To make matters worse
I am constipated
and worrying increasingly about going home tomorrow.
Not being still feels a lot more appealing
than this state of life.
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