On the first of January, after the evening mass
an acquaintance (actually the one who lost her daughter to leukemia this autumn)
came up to me with the idea of
singing this archaic folk-prayer-chant
about Mary, mother of God
with a third woman of whom we knew she knows it
and so we did, when most people left the church
and it was pretty good.
On the way out I ran into G.
who disappeared from my life in summer
(that's his way, I got used to it by now, well, more or less)
anyway, it turned out that he had an email
being written to me
for months by now
so he sent it over this morning
and it was really kind,
mostly saying that he wasn't sure what I may be wishing for, and what I may not
and so he just never dared call.
So I told him he overthought this
and we set up a meeting for next week.
Then today I met N. finally
also after like half a year or so
(with the significant difference that she lives far away)
and she somehow got me a whole lot better than I'd have dared hope
not sure what exactly happened
but her quiet confidence that I will eventually be o.k.
somehow spoke to me
in a way that could penetrate my armor
better than any similar input in recent weeks.
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