On Saturday I went to a party
(meaning a handful of friends, board games, very moderate drinking and not excessive junk-food eating)
I had a minor meltdown over one of the games
but other than that it was great
we laughed a lot
and generally had fun
though I had an odd, persistent stomach ache for the last couple of hours
which didn't leave me on departure either
so when at home (! - my own flat for a change) I realised
I forgot my phone behind
I became a bit worried that if I end up in ER by any chance
I'll have to get there on foot
anyway, I started looking up my inventory of herbal teas
as to their stomach-ache reductive powers
(lacking my laptop and phone, I relied on a book and the instructions on the tea sachets...)
and came up with aniseed and liquorice
(both of whose taste I heartily dislike...)
plus a hot water bottle
and the sleeping pill
and slept soundly and without any disturbance whatsoever
till ten o'clock or so.
On Sunday evening I went to visit P. finally
(after a good three months, it seems)
we had a very good, honest and at times raw conversation
after which I felt more or less like mhself again
I am utterly grateful for this
and for him in general.
And today, help from unexpected quarters:
É. from our church group
came to sleep over
I never was very close to her
up to recent times
when her depression hit her hard again
and somehow the two of us became in the group
the two sad, lonely, broken, struggling people
together.
And I swept, mopped and tidied up for her
which will in turn lift my mood, too
for days to come.
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