Today I learned about myself
that while it must be a good thing that everyone around me
is 100% convinced of my full recovery
I actually wish for compassion more than trust
and what brought it forth:
I've got to speak on therapy today
even if only for the last twenty minutes or so
with my card chosen three weeks ago
for the question of
"what's your most pressing problem now"
it said EXHAUSTION
I spoke about my emotional state
pretty much everything that came up here recently, too
and the psychologist woman replied along the lines of
"you are so much stronger than you think now"
while the guy turned to me and said something like
"I don't think so"
and that he rather thinks I show a good face but the trouble is much bigger
and then I felt understood, even loved
up to being worth the worry
It's a bit as if the trusting ones stood on the edge of my game field
watching me
quite possibly with a wider angle of view
but from afar
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