on falling apart

I still couldn’t make up my mind entirely

or I could but wasn’t determined enough to act on it

breaking up via messaging suddenly feels
“jerkiness understandable”

my room is like a post-apocalyptic landscape

(maybe a bit dustier—

depends on the type of the apocalypse

I guess)

I can’t find connection with God

I keep procrastinating

- work (translation)

- writing some long, important and difficult emails

- reading (!) for the children’s book award

- tidying and cleaning, and pretty much 

- all else, too

starting with getting up in the morning

And I keep having flashbacks

from bad memories throughout my marriage

mistakes I made

stabs I received