on L., again

The night before last
L. turned up in my dream again

we visited some zoo with a bunch of friends

chatting in English

up to the point of farewell

on which occasion L. chose to say a few sentences 

in close-to-perfect Hungarian

(and we hugged each other

as if it were the most natural thing in the world)

I can’t recall what he said

but it was certainly something nice

I had this vague warm feeling from the dream the whole day long

This morning I told him via WhatsApp

(well, except for the hugging part)

he laughed

and we started chatting as we didn’t lately

and at one point it turned out that he and S. broke up

which shook me

because they did look great

in fact the last (and only) reference 

I ever heard from L. to their relationship

was that it was "strong and healthy"

But then that was 1.5 years ago 

It’s a great pity on so many levels

the most practical being that 

I really hoped and wished to one day see their children

(keeping in mind that that may not have been their plan)

I obviously know nothing more

and will never, by all chances

but the metaphisical anxiety 

that every break-up makes me feel

is present nevertheless