2022. február 1.

Instability stabilizing :-)

I mean, I do get these crying moments still so 
they are kind of setting in
but I don't mind them too much

Today I met the miracle baby I once mentioned here
and I guess it left more of a mark than I expected

also, I’ve been having close (literal) encounters with 
unmarried mothers for the last few months
and despite their very different (17-19th century) choices and lives
(very different from mine but also from each other’s)
they all touch something in me

And then today an old-old friend called me
(to finish a call we started yesterday, actually)
and he told me that he ended up at the psychiatric ambulance
with his insomnia (that’s been going on for ages, now I remember)
and we mulled a bit over the implications of 
becoming a psych patient on 
our self-image

I wasn’t a good listener, though, had my own story in mind all the while
and a bit later sat down to apologise for this via e-mail
to which he replied very kindly
that we should continue
perhaps over a beer
and quoted me (from our "previous life") saying 
how cool* I find it when women drink beer

Now this is a fine coincidence indeed
because cool is my "word" for 2022
it found me (a shame I never wrote about it here!)
on my walk to Makó 
in the falling snow on 8th January


* For lack of a better English word — VAGÁNY is the original





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