I feel somehow strange
that "episode" a week ago left its mark on my mood for a long time
it may have been because
it felt like letting myself down
another disappointment –
back when I strolled in to the psychiatry
more than 1.5 years ago
I really didn’t expect the connection to last this long
I’ve been looking upon these as a temporary state ever since
to be ignored when I feel better and endured when worse
but maybe this isn’t the right strategy after all
maybe I should aim to learn to navigate them
but for that I would have first
to accept
that this too shall last
and that feels just too much
Good things happened this week, too, of course
another massage session
a present and a heartfelt letter from my brother via snail mail
a good walk & talk with N.
I’ve got vaccinated and survived (well, this far – AZ)
I had a reading date with myself
on a park bench, with coffee & cakes
and most importantly without my phone
the sun shone a lot
I cleaned up that ugly back corner of the loo
(pretty effortlessly, really, as aunt K. said:
"one day you'll just do it without sweat")
And yet I feel subdued
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