2020. július 25.

on day 3

So it has been a pretty deficient day this far
heavy rain all night and lighter all day
a lot of "dead time" before leaving
then some waiting in the rain for the
planned cellar to open
some tasting 
because you can't not
after the second cup I just started crying
and feel like that ever since

I am inadequate 
don't know a thing about wine and 
am not even interested
I am not interested in anything, really
and definitely not good at anything

how did I even get here
a stranger in my own life

***
something has gone awry in my nervous system
and I can't see how to reverse it
I had way too high an expectation
with thinking that I may have a whole week in which to feel good
when I so obviously am not ready for it
and don't deserve it either

UPDATE:

Nincsenek megjegyzések: