9 years

and no reason to celebrate.

I can’t really recall how I felt nine years ago

but all in all I was joy- and hopeful

feeling that my life was going in the right direction

looking forward to having a couple of children

and later growing old with Á.

Well, we all know how this story ended.

Today was o.k.

I mostly managed to divert my attention

went to mass in the evening

and thought how fitting it were

to kill myself tonight

but alas, I am not desperate (or just plain brave) enough

Meanwhile, I stumbled upon king David’s

pretty odd behaviour

and it left me wondering

whether I should try and carry on living 

as he did

since “the child’s dead, and I can’t bring it back”

David seems cool with it

but to me, well, easier said than done