Anxiety took hold of me more than once
during the last days
I couldn't really put my finger on it (yet?)
but I am rather restless
craving stimuli to divert my mind
and responding to Á's name
worse than usually
(while also thinking of him
more than before)
I didn't join Sunday's videochat
for fear of there inevitably being some
to whom I should explain my situation
and that does not become any easier with time
I quite hate myself for these
though I know that only worsens everything
But at least this morning
I finally applied to volunteer
and was called back in hours
(though it's all under organisation still
and won't start happening till next week)
and remembered to go and give blood
one day in the near future
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