because things are getting harder once again
The triggers are pretty clear (for all that's worth)
about two weeks ago I ran into A.
in an online prayer session
and scheduled a video call right away
she's fine
still in London, working as a mental health nurse, and deliberately and happily single
however, she told me T. is in Australia
with some girl
and so I came to know that they too have divorced with E.
which came as a shock
And then Zs. is head over heals in love
with a woman who is in another relationship
(with some abisive guy, naturally)
but they are SO HAPPY
and apparently so should I be for them
but I am not, I could shout at him
that the definition of betrayal
has absolutely nothing to do
with whether we know or like the betrayed one
However, none of these prepared me
for the case when I broke off in tears on the playground
after a question from A.
about my feelings towards the idea of a romantic relationship
Apparently I am still very far from being healed
and I am also slowly facing the fact
that I have no idea about the possible ground to the annullation of the marriage
indeed I fear that there may not be any
and that would equal to being buried alive
even as I can't imagine myself remarrying
(And then N. told me that her boyfriend broke off with her
and so she is totally heartbroken, too)
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