on dragging along

It's not nearly as bad as it was a few months ago

but I still lack energy or vitality

I still prefer to cancel group events

and procrastinate a lot

but some of my official programs were cancelled, too

so I could go to Szalafo for almost 4 weeks

whether that would be wise remains to be decided

Meanwhile yesterday "marked" the first psychodrama session

which was exhausting

probably more or less due to my very strong reistance

I still feel the urge to back out

there's going to be sweat and blood

and mirrors in which 

I am not sure if I am prepared to look into

and then there is the self-consciousness 

and the fact that I am miles away from my body

it actually feels strange to try and express myself 

in any other way than through words